New Hair Cut & Shelter

I know, it's been forever. Again, I'll say sorry (so empty). But I started school, so can you really blame me? Anyways!!

So...I'm pretty much OBSESSED with this new haircut I got. It's so light and I feel a lot freer and for some reason, I'm not as self-conscious about my receding hair line as I was with longer hair. I guess with longer hair, I had something to cover up the RHL, but now I don't and i don't mind people seeing it! It's kind of a relief!
Of course, some have said, "It makes you seem older, more mature,"
and others, "You look younger but cleaner."
Which confuses the fux outta me but whatever. I'm in love with it. I think I shall marry my hair now...I owe it that...with the amount of confidence I have gained and all.

Bah...I'm just writing random things at this point. I'm listening to my iTunes at work and I'm really tired (never again shall I take more that 2 percocet in one day) and I'm lonely and bored. I should be doing my homework, but I forgot my books at the house.
Sigh...
I'm excited though.
For the week. Classes, and all that junk. And I'm going to look for an apartment. And of course the PCCPride group interest meeting! I'm totally ready to make a difference in the PittCC community!
OH! And my friend over at the Taco Bell (I get free food there teehee) said her marine friend is going to visit next weekend and probably stay at the hotel. Best part, he's tall and gay! It's against the company rules to fraternize with patrons though soo...*wink*


OH! I've TOTALLY fallen in love with the movie Shelter from the Here Gay/Lesbian Network. If you want to watch it online, go ahead and click the following link. The movie is in ten parts. And yeah, it's somewhat cliche with the "Straight boy meets gay man, straight boy comes out, straight boy rejects gay man because of hardship, overcomes hardship, then runs back to original gay guy." But there are some undertones to it as well.
People can't always have what they want. Whether by choice or by other means, some people have to give up their dreams for various reasons.
Oh, and gay people are just as capable of raising a child as a straight couple (if not more capable).
Whatever! Here are the links:

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnmNf6Dow0A
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwucojJBmHg&feature=channel
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzJ5Kj0HSgQ&feature=channel
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IQLYm-8c6M&feature=channel
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FkrejkS3MA&feature=channel
Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsJqEzuZFnY&feature=channel
Part 7: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYsgKswXxng&feature=channel
Part 8: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XI5Pcy_G3IY&feature=channel
Part 9: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INmsfkj0Yug&feature=channel
Part 10: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARSHXxncFr4&feature=channel

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Listening to: ATB - Collides With Beauty

Oh Snap!

So I did a short video (4 seconds HAHA) for my friend Jess up in Chicago. Here it is:

Ramen, Salmon, Alcohol!

Ok, so I went to the kitchen...intending to put a bot of water on to boil for ramen...I went into the cupboard and was reaching for ramen when I realized, "I don't want ramen"...I looked in the freezer and found lots of salmon..."Yuck," I though, "salmon!" So I opened the refrigerator door and grabbed a bottle of alcohol instead! :D

Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps

It was reported today on cnn.com that Michael Phelps, multiple gold medal winner in the 2008 summer Olympics in Beijing, China, was smoking marijuana (pot). Already the opinions are flying in from the anti-marijuana activists. Just to get this out there: GET OVER IT! He's 23 and has had a lot thrust upon him. Yeah, smoking pot may be bad in the eyes of a lot of people, however, that's not a reason to proclaim that you're "hurt because he did something like this."

Quite frankly, I see no point in even bringing this story to light. This seems more like a personal attack from someone who's bitter towards Phelps than anything. Why is it such a big deal?!
Fact is, this wouldn't be an issue if marijuana had been legalized years ago. Shall we go into it? If the government were to legalize marijuana, the following would most likely happen:

• Pot would be regulated by government standards, so most pot wouldn't be laced with anything more intoxicicating and/or deadly.
• The government would be regulating it, and therefore, would be able to tax the shit out of it. Look at cigarettes: the taxes on them are insanely high. Now think of all the pot heads out there that you could be making even more money off of!
• The stigma that "pot is bad" would be abolished and with it, the sense of feeling "cool" for doing something unlawful, much like underaged drinking.

Seriously people, get over it. What I'm more worried about is the fact that he said the same thing when he was 19 and was caught drunk driving. He apologized and said he had learned his lesson. Now he's caught doing this and apologizes again and says he's learned his lesson? He's teaching his fans that it's ok to lie?

Recurring Dream: Annihilation

Just woke from another dream that scares the shit out of me and actually had me stumbling to the restroom after I had actually woke up. I think I need to start a dream journal because these are making me really scared...

So in this one, as noted by the title, life on planet Earth is basically...god I'm even having trouble typing and coming up with my sentence structure because of this dream. Anyways, life (humans and animals) is gone from the Earth. Thing is, in the beginning of the dream, everything is fine.
In the dream, I laying in bed and I'm woken by some bright lights outside. I put on some clothes to investigate and go downstairs and investigate. I get outside onto the cool grass of the front lawn and I'm killed.
Now, that's how the first one went. Since then, the dream has evolved (like I'm learning from each recurrence). It's scary because I've gotten to the point where I wait things out in my room, concealed in a false backed closet (like a secret door in the closet) until morning. When I go out to find out everything, I find someone who I guess is my friend downstairs in the kitchen. It seems he's talking to himself, but since I keep learning, I know that he's talking to the thing that is trying to destroy the planet.
The thing is in the form of a small snake (how appropriate in terms of the bible) and is conversing with my friend. Since I've learned from past dreams, I know not to talk right away. I have to wait until my friend stops talking and turns to me. When he does, he says the usual 'Good morning. Sleep well?' and all that junk.
I tell him it was ok and then he introduces me to the snake-thing as his friend. He then proceeds to give the snake-thing a chocolate chip cookie (I know, totally irrelevant but whatever). We walk into the living room and I sit on a laz-e-boy recliner and my friend and the snake-thing across from me on the couch. Again, from past dreams, I've learned not to lunge across the small gap between us and try to kill the snake-thing. So we have polite conversation. each time this has ended up wit hme dying after my friend reveals that he's going to help the snake-thing with something important.
Tonight, however, I actually stopped the conversation by saying something that the snake-thing was about to say, something I had heard in a different occurance of the dream. This makes the snake-thing ponder and ask "Can you read minds?" To which I reply, "Why, can you?" He says "Of course I can." I ask him what number I'm thinking of and he guesses wrong. And then I was dead and I woke up.

I'm not happy with these scarey dreams...

25 Secrets

The following are 25 things about myself that I, at the least, admit to myself. I try to work on anything that may be bad, but I'm only human. Thanks for reading.

Harvest: Massive Encounter...More like Massively Made of Win!

So I know back in July 2008, I wrote a blog about TowerDefence.net (Boredom to a T...D). Well, One of the games I happened to find on that website has inspired another blog entry for me. Enter: Oxeye Gaming Studios (http://www.oxeyegames.com/). I have absolutely fallen in love with this small group of genius programmers! The game that hooked me? Harvest: Massive Encounter, of course!
Let's dive into this. First off, I have to give kudos to the development team that not only created H:ME, but a myriad of other fairly simple, yet entertaining games. The guys behind Oxeye are self-proclaimed indie, non-mainstream, videogame programmers based out of Sweden. They enjoy what they do and certainly don't do it for the money! Needless to say, these guys are awesome.
Now, as for the Tower Defence game they made, whoa man! Harvest: Massive Encounter (otherwise known as H:ME, or simply Harvest) is a fun, fast paced, real-time strategy (RTS)...tower defense game! The back story is basically this: the human population has overgrown the capacity of Earth, and so everyone takes to space. Pretty soon though, it becomes more like a space-age gold rush as the government calls for more raw materials (of course, proper compensation will ensue).
You decide to begin colonization and mining of a small, four planet system called Harvest14, but are quick to discover that you're not alone, and not only that, the other sentient beings that you're invading aren't too happy about your presence.
Each game you start, you're plopped down in the middle of nowhere with nothing but three energy links and a few solar plants. Your mission varies depending on the game mode you choose (there are FIVE!) and of course, each planet hosts its own problems based on terrain.

The game is phenominal. Given five game modes and the fact that there's not really a set strategy for any of them (plus the fact that two of game modes could potentially go on forever), the playability and replay value are fairly high. Not to mention that because there aren't a whole lot of finite ways to beat any mode, creativity plays a huge role.

All in all, I give Oxeye a 5 out of 5 stars, whether it be in their business practices, their games, or their great customer support. If you like videogames, I suggest you take a look at Oxeye and try out some of their demos. Hell, I bought Harvest.
Oh, and one quick (MAJOR) thing I forgot to mention: These guys program for both Windows OS and Mac! A game? On MAC?! OH NOES!!



(Some images taken from the Oxeye website)

One Minute Writer

January 28th Writing Prompt

From the perspective of a 20 year old: Of course I would. Why would anyone want war on the planet they inhabit. The problem is how. As said before, man creates war, and thus, only man can stop war. No supernatural being can stop it for them.

Recurring Dream: Kidnap

So I keep having this recurring dream that is starting to scare the shit out of me. Ok, I have like, five or six of them but still, this one is the latest one that has been popping into my dreams the most. It's hard to describe because small elements of the dream change each time. I've had it before maybe six or seven times over my lifetime, but within the pats month, I've had it about four times already...I'll try to tell it.

So first off, I have to say that as I have aged in real life, so have I aged in the dream. What I mean is, when I had this dream last (I think I was 16 the last time, before this slew of it), I was also 16 in the dream. Anyways, I start out in an alley in a big city, much like New York. Somehow, a woman pops out of nowhere. She looks like Miss Trunchbull from the movie Matilda. She basically hits me and when I wake up, I'm chained up to a wall like I'm in a medieval dungeon.
Every now and again, she let's me down to eat a meager meal and relieve myself, but mostly she just laughs at me and hurts me.
So, I just had this dream earlier today and it woke me up. What disturbed me that the ending was different in this one than the last one (about a week ago). In the ending of the one about a week ago, when she had let me down from my shackles, she got distracted and I was able to grab what I think was a bat or a leg from a table and hit her over the head with it.
This time however, I ended up dying when she hit me with something blunt and accidentally got my head.

Anyways, this is a little scary and I'm sure you can see why this dream keeps waking me up. Hopefully I can get rid of it, or find the problem in my subconscious that is causing this horrific nightmare.
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Listening to: Paul Oakenfold - Southern Sun (feat. Carla Werner)
via FoxyTunes

Sporadic Blogging

I know, I've been neglecting my blog once again. Things just kinda caught up with me and I put this baby on the back burner. I'm sorry!

I guess I can do some updates about my life.

After the new years, I became a flavor of the week. I know, sounds weird and unflattering, and trust me, those words describe it perfectly. I met someone on new year's eve and we hung out for about 2 weeks, and I thought things were going ok until I found out he was doing the same thing with another guy. Needless to say, I have no respect for this guy. Not because he did that, but because when I asked him about it, he lied to my face. But whatever...
There was a snow day (two to be exact!) on the inauguration day (Go Obama!!) and they were WONDERFUL! I haven't seen snow for a long time and we got about 5 inches to play in. I didn't go out and play a lot but it was nice to walk to the Tipsy and read some of my favorite novels while sipping hot tea and eating good food.

I've made a bunch of new friends and I love all of them, most of the time. Haha! I have a lot of fun with them when I do get to see them. We all meet on Sundays at noon for brunch at the Tipsy. The food is awesome. If ever you're in Greenville, North Carolina, I suggest you come for brunch (only on Sundays though!).

Uhm...lets see. Classes are going awesome. Lots of homework but I'm enjoying it. I have Eng111 (Exspository Writing), Mat161 (College Algebra), and Hum115 (Critical Thinking). Math and English are kinda boring because we're going over everything I learned in high school but, whatever.

OH! I turned 20 on the 18th! I'm not a teen anymore WOOT! My mother came up from South Carolina on the 17th and we had dinner at my grandmother's. Then on the 18th, me and some close friends just sat around my house drinking and watching Kill Bill. It was a good birthday. And the gifts were cool too. 12 pack of Smirnoff, Howl's Moving Castle (OMG I LOVE MY MOTHER!!), new tires for my bike, and some good tea from Tyler.
And speaking of birthdays: Bette turned 29 (again for the 8th time) on the 23rd. We had a surprise party at the Tipsy for her and it was bangin! The look on her face was priceless.

Mmm, I think that's about it. I promise to start blogging more often!
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Listening to: Ofra Haza - Deliver Us
via FoxyTunes

DOMA Protest

Here are the pictures for the January 10th DOMA Protest!

A Long Time

I haven't blogged in a while. I know, I should be blogging daily but I've been super busy. Still, no excuse for not making an effort.

A quick update:
I've started school and I have already been bogged down with a shit load of homework. It's ok though because I'm actually enjoying it. I think the only saving grace that I have is that I'm only taking three courses (9 credit hours) and my schedule is fairly easy. Another thing helping me is the fact that I have a large music collection to listen to while trudging through the homework (music library has increased to about 1,900+ songs) and the fact that I'm excited to be back in school.
Things at home are going better. Dana is making a conscious effort to make sure she cleans up after herself, which takes a lot of stress off of my shoulders. I might actually start eating at home now! Haha!!
And I've made new friends. This was due to the New Year's Eve Party at the Tipsy and of course the New Year's Day brunch the following morning. And in fact, I've met a really nice guy in the process, which is weird because karma played a trick on me New Year's Eve...Before Dana and I left the house, I had promised myself that from midnight on, I wouldn't date at all for an entire year. Well, yeah, anyways...

There was a DOMA protest today so I'll be posting the pictures that I took. I think this one was a little more successful that then November 15th protest of Propostion 8 only because the town was packed and we decided to do it at pretty much the busiest intersection of Greenville (Greenville Blvd. and Evans St.). I'm really proud of everyone who showed up and anyone who honked to equality. We got a lot of honks too, which was surprising...And we happened to slow traffic down a little! ;D

Pictures coming up. It'll take a while!

This is the New Year

Today is December 31st, 2008. It is a Wednesday. It is New Year's Eve, and I couldn't be more terrified of the future. I know, so melodramatic, but a lot of changes have occurred over the past year, and many more changes are yet to come. I'm allowed to be a little frightened of the unknown. But, with patience and a little application of intelligence, I will make it through I think.

So, here's to another year gone by and a bright new year to come!

The Holidays

I work in the service industry so I have gotten into the habit of saying "Happy Holidays". Apparently, even that phrase offends because I had customer who made a remark about how I'm a heathen for not saying "Merry Christmas", under her breath (or so she thought). I don't mean to offend anyone really. That's why I use the term "Happy Holidays", so I don't offend anyone. But whatever, just another black mark on this stupid holiday.

I went out to the mall on the 23rd, with my ex (yes, the one who tried to get me fired). I gave up seeing my grandmother to go and I even lied to my family about where I was (told them I was at home). I think it was a combination of this damned holiday as well as the fact that I was seeing this ex for the first time in about a year that had a large influence on my decision to lie...Anyways, I went to the mall and there was so many people shopping. Not a lot of people know this (my mother does since I used to go shopping with her for food), but I get really uncomfortable in large crowds. I wouldn't call it claustrophobia per-say, just a dislike for multitudes of people in a building.

And now it is the 25th, and I am at work. 10pm on the 24th till 8am on the 25th. I get double pay for any hours work on the 25th, so $14 an hour will be fairly nice. But along with working tonight, I also work each night for the next for nights (25th, 26th, 27th, and 28th). I feel really alone and depressed. I have since Sunday, even though Dana didn't leave for Fayettville until Monday, I still felt really lonely...and I still do. Everyone is out of town. The city is really quiet. Coming to work was easy, no traffic at all. I just...

It's like what I told Renae earlier on AIM:

I really wish that some Christmas miracle would happen to me, like the ones in the movie. You know, like Home Alone or like the little boy in Love Actually who ends up dodging airport security to get to the gate to tell the girl of his dreams that he loves her.

I want someone to come after me I guess. I don't think it will happen though...

And I know I said I'm done with trying to find a relationship, and that I'm done with my crush...but I saw him on the 23rd, only a few minutes because I was just passing through the Tipsy. For some reason, I want him to be on my doorstep when I get off work...sitting there, waiting for me...or in his car at least, sleeping with the heater on. It would be so...sigh...

Anyways...I hope whoever reads this, they don't take for granted the fact that they get to see friends and family over this holiday season. I don't get to see either...and it has me in a lonely depression that I wouldn't wish upon anyone.

Lack of Info

So I really want to write about something. I haven't a clue what to write about though. So I'm writing about having nothing to write. Yes, stupidest idea in the world, but I'm gunna have fun with it. So, how about a story?

Once, there was a mighty king that lived on an island. He had a son and a daughter. The son was the leader of the king's army (a fairly small army), and the daughter the leader of the court of the spell weavers (only women could be spell weavers). The mother died while giving birth to the twins and so they were raised by their father.
Now, it has come time for the king to move into his next life of eternity and so, on his deathbed, he told the son to be wise and never take more than he could handle. To look to his sister and the court for wisdom when it had evaded himself.
And to his daughter, he handed a letter and told her to read it only in the company of herself and no one else. She gladly obliged, not seeing the anger and jealousy in her brother's eyes.

The king passed on, and the twins became the rulers of the capital, as was to happen according to the will of their father. The son appointed a new leader of the army and his sister remained in her position of power among the spell weavers, as a new leader couldn't be chosen until she passed on to the next life.
Life went well for the inhabitants of the small island for a time. The twins ruled with grace and intelligence and both sought each other when their judgment was clouded. The daughter began to fall in love with the new leader of the army, unbeknown to her brother. And though the sister had thought that the brother would never keep anything from her, as she was doing to him, he was, in fact, keeping a small secret from her.
The jealousy that had seeded itself in his heart the night their father, while on his deathbed, had talked to them had grown a little each year. He never let it consume him, but it sat and festered. The one thing that could eliminate the jealousy was to read that letter.
And so he set the new leader of the army up. He told him with honeyed tongue that if he retrieved the letter from his sister's possession, he would allow the two to marry. And so the leader did. He seduced the maiden and, as she slept, he silently went through her possessions until he found the letter, and upon retrieving it, brought it to the brother.

He read it and his jealousy was not sated. In it was instructions for his sister to never let him wander far and to never let him stray off the path of peace. War is a terrible thing and should the brother even so much as think of starting one with neighboring islands, she was to put him to rest and continue her own rule.
Upon reading all of this, the brother set out into a furious rage. He quickly called the leader and the captains of the army and told them to ready the navy. They were to attack and conquer the neighboring islands by force. The captains were also given the order to slay any and all spell weavers after the islands had been conquered, even the kingdom's own spell weavers.

Before morning of the next day, the armies were ready. Both the men of the armies and the women of the spell weavers (far less) began their paths to the other surrounding islands. The sister woke to an empty kingdom and began to fear that her father's premonition for the small island kingdom had come true. She looked for the leader of the army, but to no avail. And then she found her brother.
She asked him what had happened and all he could do to respond in all his rage was to throw the letter at her. Instantly, her fears were solidified. She began for form a spell that would kill him in her mind. But she halted the casting. The sadness in his eyes was too much. She couldn't kill her own brother. And so she sat in the middle of the throne room and began to sob. She sat there for days, refusing food or any help, sleeping only for one or two hours at a time then waking with a start because of horrible dreams of death.
On the eighth day, a captain returned form the wars. He had floated back on a small boat and was malnourished and badly wounded. When he finally awoke, he was brought to the throne room of the palace and told the story of how the army had been town down to nothing. After his tale, the sister asked one question: What of my dear lover?
The captain reported that his death had been swift and in the midst of battle. The sister began to sob again. Before the captain had time to turn and leave though, she had risen to her feet, and began slowly turning to her brother who sat on his throne.

"You brought this upon your people brother," she said, "And now you shall pay for the crimes of killing your own people."

With that, she killed each person in the room with a single spell. She sobbed as each life was extinguished, even that of the wounded captain. With nothing left to her nation, she retreated high into the mountain where the tombs of her predecessors were. She went deep into the catacombs and perished there.
After her passing though, a piece of her soul manifested itself into a White Maiden. The specter could be seen wandering the labyrinth of tombs for years after.